Social Skills

I shared a message recently around the idea of singleness being good. And marriage being good too. The idea was to really put the value back on singleness and to deal with the cultural romantic idol we have that meeting the right person will somehow complete us. That when we get married, life will begin and all be lived happily ever after.

Excess often has a delayed reaction. Think of those moments where you very slightly over indulge - a delicious Sunday roast in Shoreditch, finishing the chocolate eclairs at the park that the kids half-touched or downing the last of the milk because you’re going away on holiday.

Cue 30 minutes later or so and you’re normally regretting the decision you made. Because life is all about balance.

Often when we think about mental health, we may conjure up images of perhaps the more negative side of the mind such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders or many other things. But having a healthy mind is not just as narrow as overcoming certain issues but is all about the way in which we interact with the world on a daily basis. If physical health is full of nuance, growth, learning and development then so is our journey of mental health.

Saying no is difficult in the world we live in. People are asking of our attention, our time, our resource and so on at increasing rates. It’s human nature to want to say yes and there is an underlying fear in the workplace and generally throughout life of being someone who is unreasonable.

We don’t want to offend people but ultimately the end result of overcommitting is that dreaded combination of over-promising and under-delivering. If you have an enthusiasm for new projects (like I do) then you may be particularly susceptible to this.

If you’re anything like me, then you feel slightly stressed, tired, stretched and at the limits of your life. Welcome to being a vaguely useful human being. Or adulting as the kids call it nowadays.

The pressures of life can weigh us down, keep us stuck in one place and make life truly miserable at times. However, I have come with alternative news in this blog post. I really do believe that pressure is a gift.

Possibly the most underrated quality in today’s world is faithfulness. We tend to under-appreciate those who remain most consistent, simply for virtue of the fact that they are always there.

They’re the people who rock up when no one else does. They’re the people who you don’t have to chase. They’re the people who you just get used to relying on. They’re low maintenance, frequently high capacity with a lot to offer and often go unnoticed.

Let’s be honest. We’re all slightly annoying from time to time. It’s part of the wonderful complexity of what it means to be human. But certainly some are more annoying than others. Why is that the case and is it possible to change how others perceive you?

Who wouldn’t want to be more likeable, appreciated and all round better person in the room?

Social skills are one of the great mysteries of life for many of us. Without them, even the most talented will limit their future because life comprises ultimately of relationships. So can they be developed? And why is that that we’re generally fairly awkward talking about such things?